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Dog sleeps on my head when I am sleeping. She likes to have her face and eyes on me and to smell my hair and breathe through it. I always feel very secure and happy when she sleeps with me. My heart loves her so much that it aches with the pain of not being able to share her with anyone else. But I love her so much that I want her to love me so much that she won't need me anymore. I want to be needed like that.
So when my husband, Matt, and I bought our house we knew we wanted a dog. And we also knew that we didn't want a dog that was going to be a bother or a liability. We wanted a dog that would be good for us and good for the kids. I wasn't sure what kind of dog that would be until we adopted Annie.
Our little Annie is now 11 years old. She is small. She is a mix of pug, poodle, and chow chow. She is cute. She is friendly. She likes children. She has the ability to be a lap dog and she loves to cuddle. She is a smart dog. She gets her lessons. She barks at the mailman. She loves to chase squirrels. She plays fetch with her squeaky toy. She is a little goofy.
Annie loves to eat. She eats all the time and she eats a lot of food. She eats like a truck. She goes from small portions to large portions. When she is satisfied she is hungry again. She needs to go to the bathroom. She needs to go outside. She needs to go potty and pee. She is like a little kid. A little kid who is really cute, smart, and sweet. I am so thankful that she was our first dog.
When Matt and I first got Annie she was 11 weeks old. She was a sweet little thing. And we were so in love with her. We were the first ones to take her for a walk. We were the first to feed her food. We were the first to get her used to a crate. And we were the first to teach her basic commands.
The first two years were amazing. We had the best times with her. And she was such a good dog. She loved everyone. She was the perfect dog. She did everything we asked. She slept in the house, she slept in the crate, she was gentle around the children, she was gentle with the cats, and she was gentle with the neighbors' dogs. She loved everyone. She even loved the neighbor boy. But when we got our second dog, our first pug, we saw a lot of things about Annie that we hadn't seen before.
When our first pug came into the house Annie was so confused and so scared. When I think back I wonder if it was the same for her as she was coming into our home for the first time as the boys came home. But it wasn't just our dogs. It was her. There was a lot of change that was happening with our family and Annie felt it. She was confused. She was sad. And it was very hard for her to understand what was going on. We saw her anxiety and it was overwhelming. We didn't know how to help her. And her anxiety was only going to get worse.
As our first pug began to walk around the house, sniff everyone, and get more comfortable, Annie seemed to be the last one to accept him. When she was first getting used to her and she had to go to the bathroom she would be scared and whine to get away from him. When she was tired she would sit by the back door where he was and just stare. Sometimes she would stand there and she would cry. She would be so frightened and so sad. When we left the house she would sit by the door waiting for us.
There were some moments when she could see him and just had to have his attention. But if he got her attention she would have to have his all the time. She wasn't able to separate their love. She didn't understand that she could choose to have him or to not have him. And she couldn't understand why she needed him and why she couldn't have him all the time.
Annie was a dog who didn't understand the rules of the house. She didn't understand that the kitchen was for food and the bathroom was for peeing and pooping. She didn't understand that the front door was to go out and the back door was to go in. And she didn't understand that there was to be no sleeping in the house and that the bedroom was for her and only her. She thought that she was allowed to sleep in the house with the kids and the dog was a bad idea. She didn't understand why she was told no, and why she was told not to sleep in the bedroom with the children. But her anxiety about it was overwhelming.
One of the hardest moments for us was the night that we took her to the veterinarian for her rabies vaccine. We were so worried about her. She was so nervous. I didn't know if she would be okay in the car or on the table. She was so scared. She was scared because we told her she was getting a shot. She was scared that she wasn't going to be okay after the shot. She was scared that she wasn't going to be a good girl any more. She was scared that she would get sick and that her brothers and sisters would have to give her shots. She was scared of the doctor. She was scared of the dog. She was scared of the needle. She was scared to death of going through her first shot. She had never had a shot before.
Annie didn't do anything but be there for her brothers and sisters when they were scared. She was there for them when they were crying. She was their rock. She was their comfort. She was there for them and she wanted to be there for them. But she didn't know how to show it. She was a dog who wanted to be good but she didn't understand why she couldn't be good all the time. She just wanted to do